


Love Stings

by StormyBear30



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: 30 SecondsTo Mars, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-12
Updated: 2011-03-12
Packaged: 2017-10-16 21:46:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/169674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madness and Mayhem between Matt and the two brothers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Stings

“I don’t want to talk about it” Matt called out over his shoulder as he entered the spacious sitting area of the hotel the band was staying in for the week. He needed some space and he needed to be alone as he ignored the cries of the other band mates scurrying to get his attention, in particular the loudest voice of all belonging to their lead singer and his lover.

“Matt…come on. You have to understand why I did it” Jared screamed after his retreating lover, racing after him in an attempt to sooth over the damage he has inflicted on their already fragile relationship. “Come on Mattie…it’s going to be ok. I promise” He whispered once he caught up with the man, pulling him into his arms as he stood within them limply. “I’m sorry baby. I just couldn’t do it. Not yet. It’s just to soon”

“It’s been two years Jared” Matt reminded, exhausted mentally and physically.

“I know and I promise that when the time is right I will…”

“Don’t make promises that you can’t keep Jared…please” He begged, stepping back from the man that held his barely beating heart and he feared despite it all, he always would. “I just can’t hear anymore right now” Head hung low, he once again walked away from his lover and his friends in dire need of some alone time to clear his muddy thoughts. “I just need some time alone to think”

“Matt…” He heard Jared call out to him, ignoring him once again.

“Jared…leave him alone. Jesus…you just broke his heart. You heard the man…he needs some space” Shannon answered for Matt in an anger that he would have never been able to muster when it came to Jared.

“Shut the fuck up Shan…what the hell do you know” Jared’s voice rose evilly, but Matt could have cared less as he entered his bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him before slipping out of his clothes and climbing into his large and empty bed. He tried to block out the loud and anger filled words being screamed behind the door, but he knew it was futile. Shannon and Jared were well known for their knock out drag out fights and yet the fights always seemed ten times worse when it came to him and Jared’s relationship.

“You are the most selfish mother fucking son of a bitch that I have ever met” Shannon’s words of hate continued. “You promised him that you would come out about the two of you and then told the press that it was a lie. You played it off like it was the biggest joke in the world…pretending that you are really straight. Trust me little brother when I tell you that there is nothing fucking straight about you…particularly your promises to Matt”

“Jealous?” Jared bit out, smiling widely at the look of stunned hurt that crossed his brother’s face. “Still can’t get over the fact that he chose me over you” He spoke a bit lower so no one, particularly Matt could hear him, ignoring the look that their other band mate shot him from his own side of the room.

“He didn’t choose you…you fucking stole him” Shannon choked on his words, trying to ignore the twist in his heart before he too took his leave, slamming the bedroom door loudly behind him.

“Why do you do that to him Jared?” Tomo spoke up as he stood off to the side of the room listening to the two brothers go at it yet again over the way that Jared treated his lover. “You know how much he loves Matt and how hard it is for him to see him with you and yet you always do that. Sometimes I think that you are just pure evil” With that said Tomo walked away as well in hopes of helping Shannon though another night of heartbreak.

“Not tonight Jared…please” Matt begged as he heard the door to his room open and close, the shuffling of cloth as it fell to the floor before he felt the bed dip beside him.

“I know you’re upset with me Mattie…but you have to believe me when I tell you that I never meant to hurt you. I had to tell the interviewer what I did. I have my career to think about…the band to think about…our future to think about”

“You know damned well that this has nothing to do with your career or the band or our future” Matt’s voice raised a notch as he shifted away from Jared’s prying hands. “This has to do with the fact that you care more about yourself then you do about us…about me. You promised Jared” He reminded his lover, the anger that had been there before hand, now vanished. “You promised that we wouldn’t have to hide what we have together after tonight and then you flat out told that reporter that you were straight and that your coming out last week was all a lie. You hurt me Jared” Tears threatened his eyes, but he held them back because he did not want Jared to know just how deeply he had been hurt.

“I know baby and you can never know how sorry I am that I did…please forgive me. I love you Mattie…you know that. You mean the world to me and nothing…not coming out to that reporter or the world will change that. Tell me you love me Mattie and that your forgive me”

Matt found that he didn’t even have the strength to fight the man who had decimated his heart as he allowed Jared to wrap his arms around him, not even waiting for the words he asked to hear before capturing his lips under his own. He knew what Jared was doing, knew that he was trying to sooth over the hurt with sex and yet he did nothing as he allowed it to happen just the same. It was only afterwards after Jared had left his room and returned to his own bed that he allowed the tears he had been holding back to consume him.

He recalled the week prior when Jared had announced to the world through an online interview that he was gay. He could remember how happy and how proud he was of the man who had intrigued and excited him from practically the first moment that he had laid eyes upon him. It had been a decision that the two of them had been discussing for months before hand because Matt was tired of hiding the true nature of their relationship. He hated the fact that he had to pretend that it didn’t bother him when Jared was mobbed by adoring female fans at each show, kissing and hugging on them as he tried to hide his jealousy. He hated it even more when there were Hollywood functions that he was forced to attend, some Barbie doll set up by the studio or record company plastered to his side instead of him. He plain just hated lying and after much discussion and a few heated arguments, Jared had finally decided to go public, or so that was the plan.

Hours later a soft knock at the door roused him out of his semi state of sleepy pain, already knowing who it was without having to see him. “Hey Shan…” He whispered sadly as he lifted the covers and waited for his best friend on the entire planet to slide in beside him.

“You ok?” Shannon asked full of concern for his friend as he laid down beside him, pulling him into his arms as Matt laid his head upon his chest.

“I’ve been better” Matt laughed sadly, closing his eyes to ward off another bout of tears that seemed to want to fall.

“I know Matt and I am so sorry that he did that to you” Shannon spoke truthfully, hating his brother yet again for hurting the man he loved in secret. “He’s an asshole and one that…”

“I’m ending it Shannon” Matt cut him off as he pulled back from his friend, staring into his eyes before continuing. “I can’t do this anymore. It’s become to hard…to painful and as much as I try to explain it to him…he just doesn’t get it or care. It hurts to know that I love him and would give up anything to be with him and he doesn’t return my feelings” The tears that he had been holding back finally got control of him as he dove back into the protected arms of his best friend and confidant. “Does that make me a selfish asshole?” He sobbed, clinging to Shannon so tightly that he was afraid he might be actually hurting him, but unable to let go just the same.

“The only selfish asshole is Jared” Shannon assured, wrapping his arms even tighter around the distraught man as he kissed him tenderly upon the top of his head. “I love my brother…but I hate the way that he treats you. I have from the first moment that you two started seeing each other. He doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone that will love you for you no matter what. Someone that will be there for you whenever you need them. Someone who will love you and put you above all others”

“Someone like you” Matt smiled a real smile up at his friend, falling into a fit of laughter at the absurd thought. “If we weren’t like best friends and it wouldn’t be so weird” He laughed again, once again snuggling into Shannon’s broad chest as he hid the look of wanted need he felt for his best friend. “Thanks Shan…you always know how to make me laugh no matter how hurt and upset I get. Night man…”

“Yeah right…night” Shannon replied miserably as he waited for Matt to drift off to sleep. Thankfully Matt fell asleep almost immediately, giving Shannon the alone time needed to work through his breaking heart.

Shannon woke up hours later, alone but still in Matt’s bed with a pair of deep blue eyes glaring at him from across the room. “Can’t have the real thing so you take my leftovers do you?” His brother shot out nastily towards him as Shannon shoved over to the side of the bed, looking around and wondering where Matt had gone. The running of the shower was his answer as he turned his attention back towards his brother.

“He was upset and needed someone to be there for him because it sure as hell wasn’t you after you broke his heart, fucked him and then left him alone with his pain” Shannon bit out, walking past Jared and for the bedroom door, stopping as he looked back. “Pain that you brought on again…I might add” He was halfway down the hallway when a blow to his body sent him staggering painfully into the wall. He didn’t have to look to know that it was Jared as he caught his balance and began to throw punches in earnest at any body part that he could reach. He didn’t know how long the actual fight went on, only that his entire body felt pelted and sore as both Tomo and Matt appeared out of nowhere and ripped the two apart.

“You keep this shit up Shannon and your ass will be out of this band so fast that it will make your fucking head spin” Jared screamed madly, struggling like mad to get out of the grip that Matt had on him, but due to his painful nature quickly lost the battle to.

“Do you honestly think that I give a shit anymore Jared” He screamed in reply, pushing Tomo as he once again lurched towards the man he wanted to beat into yesterday, but all efforts were hindered as Tomo grabbed onto him again and put him in a headlock. “You know what…fuck this…I quit” He made the quick decision as he wrestled out of Tomo’s grip, rushing into his own room before slamming the door loudly behind him. Madly he threw all of his belongings into a suitcase, cursing the day that he had agreed to put together a band with his little brother as well as the day that he just stepped back and allowed that same little brother to steal the only person that he had only ever truly loved right from under his nose.

“You’re not doing this” Matt cried out as he rushed into the room, grabbing Shannon’s suitcase as it’s entire contents scattered to the floor.

“The fuck I’m not” Was Shannon’s retort as he pushed past his friend and began to pick up his stuff, once again shoving it into the suitcase. “I’m sick of his shit...sick of him throwing the same shit in my face all the fucking time”

“Throwing what shit in your face?” He heard Matt ask off handedly, cursing himself for not being more careful as he watched him once again grab for the suitcase, but this time he didn’t fight him as he fell exhausted and fed up onto the bed. “You’re not doing this Shannon. You’re not leaving the band. You helped create this band…without you…it and your brother would be nothing”

“That’s where you’re wrong” Shannon replied softly, playing with a pair of socks lying beside him. “Jared can take care of himself and the truth is that even if he couldn’t I don’t care anymore. I need a break…need some time away from him and all the bullshit before I really lose my mind completely. I just need a couple of weeks away so I can clear my head and then I will come back and make some decisions. Can you understand that Matt?” He asked, staring up into his beautiful eyes as he waited for a response.

“Well what the hell are you waiting for” Matt smiled at his broken friend, pulling him into a hug before kissing him on the cheek. “Finish packing and get the hell out of here. But Shannon…no matter what your decision…you’re not leaving this band. We need you. I need you” Standing up, he winked at his friend as he walked out of the room, making his own decisions as we went.

He saw no signed of Jared as he entered the living area of the hotel room finding Tomo sitting silently in front of the blank TV. “It works better when you turn it on” Shannon attempted a weak joke to try and fill the uncomfortableness surrounding them.

“Matt’s right you know” Tomo ignored the attempt as he stood up and walked over towards his band mate and friend. “This band is nothing without you in it. Your part of the equation that makes 30 Seconds to Mars something special and a hell of a lot better then most of the bands out there. I know that you need a break from Jared. I think that it’s a good idea that he takes a break from you as well…but you have to come back Shan. It won’t be the same without you and despite the fact that you don’t believe this right now…Jared does need you to keep him from taking himself too seriously. Promise you’ll come back”

Shannon wanted to fight him, but at the look of pure sadness that plagued his friends face, he found that he couldn’t deny him anything, at least not at the moment. “I’ll come back…but I make no promises once I do. Some things have to change Tomo…but no matter what you are my friend and you always will be” He smiled through the tears that glistened within his eyes and he and Tomo shared a hug before he took his leave.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going without me” Shannon heard a familiar voice cry out to him as he shoved his suitcase into the trunk of his car, preparing for his ride to freedom.

“You’re not coming Matt…not this time” Shannon spoke in a dead voice as he went to slam the trunk shut, only to have it jerked upwards once again, another suitcase joining the one laying there.

“The fuck I’m not” He returned Shannon’s earlier remark with a smile as he slammed the trunk closed, standing before his friend as if daring him to argue with him.

“You need to work thing out with Jared and…”

“It’s over…at least for me it is…for Jared well that’s a whole other story” Matt cut him off, fighting the strain in his voice as he continued to plaster a smile upon his face.

“I don’t understand” Shannon replied confused.

“We can discuss it in the car” He said, walking over towards the passenger door before slipping in. “Where are we going by the way?” He questioned as Shannon slide into the seat next to him. His smile widened at the realization that Shannon was no longer going to fight him. “Because if you don’t have a destination…I do”

“The Bahamas’” Shannon cried out as they drove along the busy streets of Los Angeles. “Are you insane?” Loving the idea and fearing it all at the same time.

“What…” Matt demanded, getting annoyed with his friend as it had been nearly an hour of non-stop driving and they still hadn’t decided where they were on their flight to freedom. “You’ve come up with nothing better. Why not the Bahamas’? Think of it…beautiful beaches…lots of drinking and best of all it’s as far away from Jared as we can get without flying across the fucking world. Come on Shan…it will be an adventure for just the two of us. Think of it as a chance for us to spend more time together…because since the band has made the big time…and I started seeing Jared” He spoke under his breath. “We’ve not been able to spend as much time together as we used to. Please Shan…please” He begged, putting on his best puppy dog face as he leaned into his best friends shoulder.

“We haven’t packed for a trip to the Bahamas’s” Shannon said with no real emphasis behind his words, because the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of spending some alone time with Matt. No matter how dangerous it might be to his heart.

“Who gives a fuck? We have money…we can buy whatever we need there” Matt chirped, already knowing that Shannon was caving as he leaned over and kissed him upon the cheek. “Bahamas’s here we come” He screamed out the open window before sitting back, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Next time we decide to take a trip…let me pick the fucking place” Shannon complained tiredly as he dragged his suitcase heavily behind him, following Matt into the lobby of the small hotel. “Jesus Christ…it’s like everybody and their brother decided to take a vacation here. I swear to fuck if we can’t get a room here then we are turning around and going back to the airport and…”

“Would you stop your bitching already” Matt growled in return, equally tired after their long trip, but even more tired of Shannon’s constant complaining since they had landed nearly three hours before hand. “I’m sorry that we didn’t think ahead and call for reservations…fucking forgive me” His sarcasm was cutting but he didn’t care any longer. All he wanted was a place to sleep and to forget about the horribly long flight that they had shared and maybe get a few minutes peace from Shannon’s irritable mood. “Beside’s the airport attendant said that his cousin owns this place and that even though they are not open to the public just yet that they would take care of us”

“Yeah right…” Shannon murmured under his breath, ignoring the hateful look he received from Matt as they reached the counter of the hotel. “There not even fucking here…” He went on with his bitching after Matt had hit the counter bell two times and no one had come to the desk. “I knew that this was going to be a fucking waste of time”

“Shannon…I swear to god if you say one more fucking word then I am going to…”

“Gentlemen…welcome to the Sandy Palms. I am Gerald” They heard a man speak as he appeared behind the counter. “I am sorry that you had to wait. I was on the phone with my cousin and he was telling me about your plight”

“Hello…I’m Matt and this…” He pointed at the sulking man beside him. “is Shannon. Look…your cousin told us that you were not open to the public yet…but we really just need a place to crash for the night and then we will be out of your hair. Money isn’t an option and…”

“Jesus Christ Matt…why don’t you just hand over your wallet now” Shannon spoke up, rolling his eyes in full irritation at just how trusting and stupid his friend was.

“Shannon…I swear to god if you don’t…”

“Gentlemen…gentlemen. It is not a problem…really” He smiled at both men, grabbing a key from behind the counter before walking around it. “There is nothing to worry about. Yes…my cousin was correct that we are not officially open as of yet…but we will be in the coming weeks. Your stay here will be a test run if you will and you are welcome to stay as long as you like. We have a full staff that will cater to your every need and if I can be of any assistance you only have to ask. We will worry about checking you in tomorrow morning since it is clear that you have had a rough trip and are very tired” He looked at Shannon in particular before turning his eyes to the kinder man. “Leave your bags…I will have someone bring them up to you momentarily” He spoke over his shoulder as he motioned for them to follow him. “I have the perfect room for you. Our finest suite for the happy couple” He smiled at the two men, his smile turning into a full grin at the stammering and blushing going on between the two of them as they entered the elevator. “No worries gentlemen…we are very open here at the Sandy Palm and welcome all people. My cousin told me all about you while I was on the phone with him. He said that he’d never seen a couple so apparently happy and in love with each other, quarrel so much” He chuckled, speaking up as they each tried to speak over him. “He also said that despite that, you were very tender with each other and that it was apparent you were deeply in love. Here you go gentlemen…our honeymoon suite and because you are our first guest here…we will only charge you for a regular room”

“Thank you but we’re not…” Shannon tried to speak up, but Matt cut him off as he placed his arm around his neck and pulled him extremely close.

“We’re not sure that we can let you do that” Matt finished for Shannon, not quite sure why he liked the idea that the man thought they were a couple. “We’re still kind of leery about who we can trust when it comes to our relationship. It’s still so new…even to us…right honey” He avoided Shannon’s questioning gaze, kissing him on the cheek before turning his attention back to Gerald. “Money really isn’t an option. We can pay the full rate”

“Nonsense…I insist. Now…” Gerald clapped his hands together. “The grand tour” No words were spoken as Gerald gave the tour of the huge suite, their arms locked together as if they were a true couple. “Ahh…your luggage. Leave it over there…” He instructed the boy who brought it, ushering him away before either Matt or Shannon could give him a tip. “Gentlemen…enjoy your night and if you need anything you just call”

“What the fuck was that?” Shannon spat out as he pushed Matt away, putting much needed space between them. “Why the hell did you let that man think that we were a fucking couple” He tried to sound mad, but found it hard as being in a relationship with Matt had been something he had dreamed about for many years prior.

“I don’t know…thought it would be fun” Matt answered, shrugging his shoulders.

“You thought it would be fun to pretend we are a couple and lie to a perfect stranger…one that has been very kind to us from the moment that we got here” Shannon asked flabbergasted.

“Yeah…I guess. I don’t know…it just came out of my mouth alright and it was too late to take it back afterward. Jesus Shan…would you fucking relax already. We’re here for some fun and alone time…or did you forget that?” Matt asked as he walked over towards his friend, pulling him into a hug before kissing him on the side of the face. “This is going to be an amazing two weeks…I can already feel it”

“Yeah…” Shannon whispered into Matt’s chest as he wrapped his arms around his waist, relishing his closeness because he knew that no matter what that once they left the island everything would go back to as it had been before.

“Come on let’s clean up and then get some rest. Hope that you don’t mind sharing a bed with your old buddy because there is only one” Matt winked at Shannon before making his way towards the bathroom. “Besides…it’s so huge that we probably won’t even know the other is there once we fall asleep” Shannon could hear his laughter as he walked into the bathroom, knowing that no matter how much space lie between them that he would always know that Matt was near.

Turning off the bathroom light, Shannon made his way over towards the bed, taking in the sight of the man that he loved in private sleeping before him. His heart beat a little differently as he realized once again just how much he cared for the man and how he desperately wished that things between them could be different. With a heavy hearted sign, he crawled under the sheets, closing his eyes as he prayed for sleep to take him as to not have to realize how close he was to his dream and yet how far away he was as well. “I thought I wasn’t going to even realize you were here” He smiled to himself as he felt Matt plaster himself to his back.

“I was lonely…” Matt yawned, snuggling closer to his friend as he wrapped an arm around his bare waist. “We used to sleep like this all the time…remember?” He asked, kissing the back of Shannon’s neck, sound asleep before he could hear the reply.

“I remember…” Shannon whispered sadly as he recalled days gone by, easing himself backwards and more closely against Matt’s body, before once again closing his eyes and falling asleep.

“Morning gentlemen” They heard Gerald greet them as they entered the lobby of the hotel in search of something to eat. “I trust you slept well” He grinned at him as he came around from the desk, standing before them.

“We slept like babies” Matt spoke up, reaching over and taking Shannon’s hand into his own. “Oh and Gerald…please call us Matt and Shannon” As the night before he ignored the looks that Shannon was shooting his way as he focused his attention on the man standing before them.

“Of course…Matt and Shannon” He nodded in response. “So…what do you two have on your agenda for today?”

“Food for right now. I don’t know about my baby here…but I am starving” Matt grinned over at the speechless man, giving his hand a gentle squeeze for added measure, trying to get him to pick up on the game as well. “You hungry honey?” He grinned at the still silent man, enjoying the look of shock and suspicion that was plastered across Shannon’s face.

“Breakfast…of course” Gerald spoke up. “Right this way please”

“What the hell are you up too Matt?” Shannon growled under his breath as he and Matt sat at a table on a patio over looking the beach. “And would you please stop that”

“What…nothing” Matt smiled evilly as he bit into the piece of fruit he held within his hand. “He already thinks that we are a couple, so we have to play it up now or we end up looking like fools and maybe hurting his feelings as well. Come on Shannon…play along…what’s the worst that could happen”

Shannon didn’t want to think about the worst that could happen, because he knew that it would involve his heart being broken or worse yet, crushed once again. However, he also knew that he couldn’t turn down a chance to live out his dream of being with Matt, and that for him he quickly found was worth the risk. “You’re right…what the hell” He smiled, a real smile for the first time since they had arrived, as he placed his arm around Matt’s shoulder, giving him a playful squeeze and a kiss upon the cheek. “So baby” He drawled out with a wink. “What are we doing first today” Closing his eyes he leaned in to kiss Matt’s cheek, his eye flying open as Matt’s head was turned and he ended up kissing his lips instead.

“Shannon…no” Matt cried out in alarm as they stood on the beach watching a couple parasailing high above them. “I can’t do that…you know that I have a fear of heights”

“Since when…” Shannon grinned evilly, loving the way that Matt was clinging to his hand tightly. He knew that Matt had a slight fear of heights, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to experience it with him just the same. “Come on Mattie…it will be fun. We can go together and I promise to hold your hand the entire time” He pouted, knowing that he would win just like he always did when he put on the famous Shannon Leto pout. “Please…” He added a lip quiver, not even giving Matt a chance to say a word because he knew he had won by the look of defeat in his eyes. Giving his hand a playful squeeze he practically dragged the taller man towards the shack behind them to purchase their tickets.

“Promise you won’t let go of my hand?” Matt asked nervously after listening to their instructor, his entire body shaking at what they were preparing to do.

“I promise” Shannon smiled over at his friend, intertwining their fingers before placing a soft kiss upon them as they waited to be strapped into the harnesses. “Here we go” He screamed as the instructor gave them a thumbs up and before he knew it, they were high above the beautiful beach. The view was breathtaking, allowing them to see many miles of beautiful city and beach. “It’s amazing isn’t it?” He spoke over towards Matt, having to laugh as he found the man beside him with his eyes closed shut. “You can see so much more when you open your eyes” He laughed again, leaning over and whispering against Matt’s ear. “It’s the most beautiful thing you will ever see. Come on Mattie…open your eyes. I’m here for you and nothing will happen…I promise”

Slowly Matt opened his eyes and instead of focusing on the beauty of the island, he found himself lost in the beautiful clearness of Shannon’s eyes. A feeling that he couldn’t quite control washed over him, intensifying even more when Shannon smiled lovingly at him. “See…I told you it was beautiful” He heard Shannon speak as he turned and out stretched his arms to prove his point, but no matter how hard he tried, Matt found that he couldn’t take his eyes off the beauty that was his best friend in the entire universe and the man that he had been harboring secret feelings for as well.

“Does it still hurt?” Matt asked hours later as he and Shannon sat side by side on the beach watching the sun set after parasailing and many hours of checking out what the island had to offer.

“A little bit” Shannon winced as he rubbed his hand over the large purple bruise that had appeared on his arm after Matt had panicked after they were being drawn in from their parasailing experience, knocking Shannon into the boat once his feet had hit hard surface.

“I’m really sorry Shan…” He replied truly sorry for hurting his friend. “I didn’t mean to hurt you…I just felt my foot hit the boat and all I could do was panic”

“It’s ok…I know you didn’t do it on purpose” Shannon laughed, placing his good arm around Matt’s shoulder and giving him a playful squeeze. “Besides…you can’t really see it since my tattoo covers most of it. It just gives it a bit more color” He laughed, releasing the man as he once again turned his attention to the beautiful sunset. “Man…this place really is beautiful isn’t it?” He asked glancing at Matt who was smiling over at him. “What?”

“I knew that you would start enjoying yourself once you got that stick out of your ass” He laughed, punching the blushing man in the arm. “Come here…” He patted the sand between his legs, chucking even more at the look of confusion plastered across Shannon’s face. “Sit here and I will massage your arm” He patted the ground again, noticing the grim look upon Shannon’s face and just how quickly it disappeared once he did what he was asked. “I love this place” He spoke against Shannon’s ear as he began to massage his shoulders, noticing just how hard the muscles underneath felt under his fingers. “It’s only been our first day and I am already to stay here forever” He couldn’t help but sigh at the thought that very soon their impromptu vacation would come to an end and they would have to face the realities of the real world once again.

“I know…it’s perfect” Shannon replied softly, leaning against Matt’s chest as the knot of muscles in his back began to relax. Closing his eyes he barely acknowledged that Matt had stopped working on his shoulders, instead wrapping his arms around Shannon’s middle, laying his chin upon his neck. “I wish that we could stay like this forever…” The words slipped from his lips before he even had a chance to stop them, forcing him to jump up startled and unnerved as Matt looked up at him strangely. “It’s getting late and I don’t know about you…but I need a fucking drink” He spoke under his breath as he went to walk away, only to be stopped at Matt’s hand upon his arm.

“Shan…wait” Matt spoke up, standing before him as he leaned down and placed a lingering kiss upon the stunned mans lips.

“What was that for” Shannon sputtered once he got his wits about him.

“For today…and for always being there for me when I need you. Love you man” Matt beamed at his friend before taking his leave and heading back towards the room. “I’ll see you up at the room”

***Fuck…I need a drink*** Shannon thought to himself as he turned in the opposite direction for the bar. He opted to forgo that bar and decided that a walk on the beach would be his best bet. His mind was swimming in several different directions, his emotions flying everywhere as well. He didn’t know what to think of Matt and his games, the extra hugs, the hand holding and the kisses. He wanted to believe with his whole heart that Matt had feelings for him more then friendship, but then he remembered his brother and the fucked up relationship that he and Matt had shared. He was even more confused as an hour later he found Matt lying practically naked in the middle of the bed, holding out his hand as he told him that he couldn’t sleep without laying beside him. He changed for bed quickly, lying down beside Matt, who snuggled against him the moment that he did, placing another lingering kiss upon his lips before he fell asleep for the night. It was another long couple of hours before Shannon could do the same.

The rest of the week was practically the same. Each day they woke, ate breakfast at the hotel before exploring the glorious island. With each day Matt seemed to become more affectionate, more loving and it was driving Shannon crazy. He had lost count as to how many times he had spouted a boner from Matt’s simple display of affection, then trying like hell to keep it from him as he tried to relieve himself at the end of the night alone in the bathroom. Shannon was frustrated beyond belief and then at the same time he never wanted their time together to end. He knew that something was going to happen soon. He didn’t know when, but he knew that whatever it was, it was going to change their relationship in a big way, quite possibly forever.

Shannon’s fears became real one night as the two of them sat alone in the dinning area of the hotel, several glasses of champaign clouding their minds and their judgment. “Dance with me” He heard Matt ask as he watched him get up from his chair, standing before him with his hand outstretched.

“What…no” Shannon replied, grabbing his glass of champaign and downing the rest of it in one gulp.

“Come on Shan…I want to dance with you. Don’t you want to dance with me?” Matt teased with a smile, putting on his best puppy dog face.

“Stop that…no” Shannon spoke a bit more firmly, but found that his resolve was quickly fading at not only the look that Matt was giving him, but by the giggly feeling that was beginning to take over him by the champaign.

“Please Shanny…” Matt begged, really putting on the charm that time. “Dance with me Shanny…please”

That was all it took for Shannon to start giggling, Matt taking it as a weak spot before grabbing his hand and dragging him onto the dance floor. “So is that my new name then…Shanny” He drawled the words as he smiled up at the grinning man holding him tightly within his arms.

“Fuck yeah…” Matt giggled from too much drink as well. “It’s cute…just like you” He giggled again before leaning down and pressing his lips to Shannon’s for a bit longer then he knew he should have. He mind was telling him to stop, that this person in front of him was Shannon, his best friend and confidant and yet the liquor hindered him from listening as he tightened his hold around the shorter man, increasing the intensity of the kiss.

Shannon was stunned for only a moment as Matt continued to nibble and worry his lips, but he forgot everything as a warm and eager tongue wormed its way between his lips, wrappings itself around his tongue in a way that set his blood on fire. He was lost after that as he fell into the sensation of lust and love for his Matt. His mind was on overdrive as he began exploring the board back of the man, his arms holding his head forward as they continued to share a frenzied kiss. “Shannon…” He heard Matt moan, fully invading his private space as he leaned into his body even more, their groins coming into semi contact with each other. “Need you Shanny…” His words continued as in a flurry of activity he felt Matt body leave him cold and alone, but only for a moment as he grabbed onto his hand and yanked him towards the exit. It took only a moment for Shannon to figure out what was happening as he increased the pace of their running, jerking Matt along instead in haste to get towards their shared room.

He lost count as to how many times he had fumbled with the key card before he was able to get the door open, but he also found that he didn’t care as they stumbled into the room, door slamming behind them as they fumbled over each other towards the bedroom. Falling to the bed, hands grouped and lips explored as clothing quickly flew to the floor. Each man was lost in the pleasure as cocks ground together to gain some friction and relief.

Matt couldn’t stand it any longer as the urge to touch the excited man underneath him over took him. With a deep breath he snaked his hands down the taunt and quivering stomach, reaching under the waistband of Shannon’s boxers as he grabbed onto the hardened mass, smiling against his neck at the gasp of breath that quickly followed.

Shannon panicked in that instant as he felt Matt wrap his large hand around his aching penis, pushing him off in fear and fright before things progressed any further. “No…” He cried out, jumping off of the bed as he began to pace like a mad man before it. “We can’t do this…” He went on, rubbing his hands across his face as he tried to figure out what the hell he should do next. Quickly he found his formerly discarded clothing, jerking them on haphazardly as he tried to pull himself back together by pacing once again.

“Why not?” Matt questioned his body and mind in shocked at Shannon’s outburst. “You act as if my touch hurts you” He couldn’t help but feel hurt and rejected by the man he longed to be with in the worst kind of way.

Shannon stopped his pacing long enough to really look at Matt, his emotions still dulled by the large amount of alcohol that he had consumed earlier as he opened his mouth and spoke words that had been hidden in his heart for too long before hand. “You…” He indicated by pointing at the silent man. “touching me in the way that you were…it’s the worst kind of torture that you could inflict on me” He cried out, not caring that his mouth was working ahead of his brain, because he felt the need to get everything he had been holding back off of his chest.

“Shannon…” Matt tried to speak.

“No…you fucking listen” He cut him off, his head swimming and yet he continued just the same. “You think that this is some game that you are playing, but it’s no game to me. You’re upset and hurting because of what Jared did to you and you think that you can just fuck me to forget him…maybe even get even at him and then it will all be over…but it won’t…at least not for me” Tears glistened within his eyes before finally making their way slowly down his pain masked face. “This is not a game to me Matt…because I love you…I’ve always fucking loved you” He rushed the words out, waiting for a response before continuing. Receiving none…he quickly expelled the rest of his secrets as well despite the warning bells screeching within his brain. “You have no idea how hard this last week and a half has been on me. It’s been my greatest fantasy come true and then at the same time…it hurts me so badly to know that it means nothing to you. I’m sorry Matt but I just can’t…nor won’t be a replacement for my brother” With that said he ran from the room not knowing where he was going, but knowing that he had to get there quick.

“Hey Gerald…it’s Matt again. I really hate to bother you but have you seen or heard anything from Shannon yet?” He spoke softly into the phone nearly three hours after Shannon had run off. “Thanks…” He replied when the older man gave a negative response, but assured that he would let him know the moment he learned something. Exhausted he fell onto the couch, wiping at the tears bleeding down his face as he hoped like hell that Shannon was ok or as ok as possible after everything that had been said and done. For what felt like the hundredth time Shannon’s words played over in his messed up mind, trying not to take his painful accusations to heart, but at the same time knowing that at least some of them were true. “Shannon…where the fuck are you?” He cried out into the room in frustration preparing to go in search of the man once again, despite the fact that the previous two hours had been in vain as he had searched as much of the island as he could. “Hello…” He screamed into the phone when it rang as he prepared to resume his search.

“Shannon’s been found” Gerald spoke into the cell phone he held within his hand. “He’s ok…” He assured the frantic man on the other end, rethinking his words as his cousin and his brother practically carried the drunken man into the lobby of the hotel. “Well…three sheets to the wind…but ok. We will bring him up in a moment”

Matt couldn’t believe how relieved he was to hear that Shannon was found, but relief turned to worry again as he opened the door to their suite and found Shannon practically comatose as he was held between two large men. “Jesus Christ Shan…” He whispered as he opened the door wider and allowed the men to dragged him into the room. “Could you put him in the bedroom please?” He asked, looking sadly at Gerald as he came to stand beside him.

“He had been there for hours before we found him. He was practically passed out at the bar” Gerald said to Matt, taking in the shaken and sad features of the nicer of the two guests. “I don’t mean to intrude…but is everything ok between you and Shannon?”

Matt didn’t know what to say for a moment as he just stared at the owner, opting for part of the truth once he spoke. “We had a fight…a huge one and he ran out”

“I see…” Gerald replied, knowing that he wasn’t getting the whole truth, but leaving it alone just the same as the two other men entered the room. “He should sleep it off for now and later I will send up my grandmother’s sure fired recipe for getting rid of a hangover” He smiled at the blonde man before nodding his head towards the door. “If you need anything…just call”

“Thank you Gerald” Matt replied flatly, turning his attention back towards the bedroom and the passed out man lying across the bed. He knew that he and Shannon still had a lot to discuss, and yet he also know that he had a lot to work out as well within his own heart and mind. With a heavy hearted sigh he got ready for bed, lying down beside the loudly snoring man. “I really fucked everything up good this time haven’t I?” He whispered, tracing his fingers across his handsome face. “What are we going to do?” Leaning forward his kissed him gently upon the cheek, pulling back quickly as a foul smell filled his nose. “You stupid ass” He smiled lovingly at him before pulling the covers up over his body and taking his leave of the room to think and attempt to clear his muddled thoughts.

Many hours had passed and still Matt was no closer to an answer to his problem. The one thing that he did know was that his feelings for Shannon had changed over their short vacation together and yet at the same time they hadn’t. Confusion seemed to be the only emotion he could feel as he picked up the phone and dialed the one person he knew would be able to help him with his plight. “Hello…” He heard a groggy voice speak across the line as he cursed himself for not realizing how late the hour was.

“Tomo…it’s Matt” He spoke figuring he had already woken his friend up. “I need your help”

Shannon woke up hours later with what felt like a dead cat on his tongue and a pain so severe across his head that he felt ready to lose the contents of his stomach at any minute. He also knew that he wasn’t alone even with his eyes closed by the soft breathing right close to him. “Fuck…” He moaned, regretting it immediately as he crushed his fists to his head, hoping to drill away the pain.

“It’s what happens when you drink yourself stupid” He heard Matt say, no matter how hard he wished that he could ignore him. “Here…take this” He barely opened his eyes to see that same man holding out a glass filled with a pee colored liquid, and one that smelt just as bad.

“Let me die in peace” He begged softly…turning his head away from the vile stench in hopes that Matt would just leave him be, but he should have known better as the bed beside him shifted.

“Get the fuck up Shannon…” Matt screamed against Shannon’s ear, feeling bad for about a second before he came back to himself. “You can’t just say the shit that you said to me last night and think that I am going to just forget it. I don’t care how much fucking shit you drank last night…we have to talk. Now get up…drink this…take a fucking shower because you stink to high heaven and then brush your teeth. Once you are presentable I will be waiting for you in the living room” With that said Matt placed the glass in Shannon’s shaking hand before leaving him alone in his misery. “I’m not fucking kidding Shannon” Matt screamed again…louder that time as Shannon begrudgingly did as he was told.

He had to admit that he felt better after drinking the stinking glass of goo and a shower, but despite that his fear of facing Matt was causing his stomach to do dangerous flip flops as he stood behind the partially closed door, trying to gauge his reaction. “I can see you looking at me…now get the fuck in here” Shannon found that he didn’t have to gauge anything at all, he could tell by the anger and irritation in his voice. With lead in his heart and his step he shuffled into the bright room, squinting for a moment before trudging over towards a nearby chair, falling backwards into it. “Don’t say a word…” Matt cut him off before he even had a chance to speak. Nodding he leaned back a little more waiting for his worst nightmare to come true.

“I’m sorry…” Matt spoke softly, running his hand thorough his blonde hair as he tried to come up with the words to ease the fear and heartbreak upon Shannon’s face. “Just let me get this all off of my chest and then if you still want to speak to me…then you can Ok?” He asked, swallowing hard when in reply all he got was a small nod from the quiet man. “You were right about most of what you said…” He began, swallowing again at the lump that formed within his throat. “After everything that happened between Jared and I came to a head that night…I wanted to get back at him. I wanted to make him hurt the way that he hurt me and my coming with you was what I knew would hurt him the most” Fear and shame inhabited him as Shannon’s face went slack, but his eyes screamed out his upset and betrayal. “I ended things with him and told him that I was leaving with you…but I refused to tell him where we were going…not like we knew anyway” He chuckled quietly, ending it as soon as he began it at the look of hurt staring back at him.

“I don’t need to hear anymore. It doesn’t matter anyway” Shannon spoke up, giving Matt a reprieve from continuing, despite the fact that he didn’t deserve it. Slowly he began to remove himself from the chair, in desperate need of some sleep and some distance as to forget about all his heartache and pain.

“It does fucking matter” Matt cried out, startling the two of them as his words echoed across the silent room. “Shannon…please you need to know this” He wanted to run over towards the man who he truly did care for, but he thought better of it out of fear that Shannon would run away once again or worse yet, reject him altogether.

“Fine…” He whispered sadly with no real emotion, because he found that he just didn’t have the energy to summons it.

“It started out like that at the very beginning…for like maybe the first day…but then we got here and things began to change. But even that’s not true…things actually changed a long time ago” He started again, his entire body trembling at what he was about to say next.

“What does that mean?” Shannon asked confused as he watched Matt sink onto the couch across from him. “What things changed and when?”

“Shan…do you remember the first time that we met” Matt somewhat ignored his question, determined to speak the words he needed to release.

“Yeah…in that shitty bar on Sunset. You were getting your ass kicked by some slim ball there” Shannon smiled for the first time since the previous evening.

“Yeah…” He smiled back as he recalled the first time that he had laid eyes on Shannon Leto. “He had bad mouthed my playing skills and being drunk I went after him…not realizing or caring that he out weighed me by fifty or sixty pounds. You and I were meeting for the first time to discuss my joining your band” His smile growing as he continued on his trip down memory lane. “You hadn’t even met me yet and you saw me getting my ass beat and you jumped right in and beat the fuck out of him. It was right afterwards as he was carted away that I got a full look at you and all I kept thinking was despite the bloody lip and smeared eye liner was that you were hot and I wanted to be with you in the worst kind of way”

“Wh…what?” Shannon stuttered as he stared wide eyed at Matt. “You never told me that”

“No…I never did” He relied sadly, his heart thudding so hard within his chest that he just knew he was going to have a heart attack at any moment. “But then again it always just seemed that our timing was always off” He went on. “We became best friends after that…always together and always in trouble” The smile returned for only a moment as he forced the words to expel from his mouth. “You moved in with me not long after that…remember” He asked. “Did you ever stop to think why I allowed that?”

“I couldn’t make my rent and got evicted” Shannon explained, more confused and hopeful then he ever dared to feel before.

“Yes Shannon…there was that” Matt ground our irritated that Shannon wasn’t getting where he was going with the conversation. “I let you move in with me so I could be closer to you in hopes that you would see how head over heels I was for you. Jesus…it was a two bedroom apartment and yet I convinced you to sleep in my room…in my bed. Did you ever stop to think why?”

“The spare was…” He tried to reply, shutting up at the look of anger he was receiving from Matt.

“Yes…I told you the other room was my storage and work out room. I knew you were gay or at least bi and I convinced you to sleep in my bed because I was hoping that it would make you feel something for me…make you want me”

“I’ve always wanted you Matt…from the first time that I saw you” Shannon spoke his own truths.

“I didn’t know it and you never showed me that you didn’t want to be anything but friends. We lived together for years before you moved in with that bitch and then we won’t even go into that fuck wad Chud that you hooked up with when that didn’t work out” Matt fired on…remembering the two people who had taken his first love away from him.

“His name was Chad and regardless of any of this…you ended up with Jared anyways. You love Jared and whatever you felt for me before means nothing since then”

“You’re such a stupid fucking retard Shannon…” Matt ground out, ready to beat the other man senseless. “Yes…I fell in love with your brother…but it was only after you fell in love and left me for her and Chud…Chad” He corrected himself. “I love Jared and for some time there I was happy with him…but I’ve always been in love with you Shannon” He cried out in irritation and fear, mentally cursing and loving Tomo at that very moment in time for talking to him earlier and bringing his true feelings for Shannon to light. “It’s been almost thirteen years and I still love you as much today as I did back then”

Shannon’s head began to swim as he stared across the room at the grim faced man whom had just declared his love to him. He didn’t know what to think, what to feel, all he knew was that if his heart didn’t stop pounding so hard within his chest that it was going to explode all over the beautiful room they were staying in. “I need to sit down” He rushed out, his mind confused and stunned as he tried to process what was truly going on and what it meant for a future with Matt.

“You are sitting down” Matt chuckled, running his hand through his blonde hair once again as he watched Shannon’s stunned face show one emotion and then another.

“Then I need to stand” He replied off handedly as he stood up on uneasy feet, nearly falling to the floor if not for Matt racing over to catch him.

“Shannon…” Matt spoke his name barely above a whisper as they gazed into each others eyes, cupping his face tenderly within one of his hands.

“I can’t…I think…I don’t know what to do” Shannon’s words rushed out as Matt continued to hold him, his confusion growing when a simple kiss was placed upon his lips. Afterwards, he allowed Matt to walk the two of them over to the couch, Matt practically sitting in his lap as he held onto his hand as if for dear life. “It’s what I’ve always wanted to hear you say and yet it confuses me because you’re now involved with Jared”

“I already told you that I ended things with Jared” Matt replied, holding his hand a bit tighter, a small bit of hope growing within his heart.

“Matt…you told me that as far as you were concerned things were over between you and my brother…but for Jared that was another story. He probably still thinks that you two are a couple and is waiting for you to come back to him to work things out. This thing between us is a mistake…as much as I wish that it wasn’t” Reaching out with his free hand Shannon, caressed the soft skin of the tearful mans face. “Jesus…I wish that it wasn’t”

“Fucking giving up on us already” Matt shot out, pulling away from Shannon’s touch as he stormed towards the other end of the room. “I don’t care what Jared thinks any more Shannon. Jesus…” His frustration was evident as he began to pace a small length of the floor. “Do you know why I started this whole game of us being together when we got here” He asked, not waiting for an answer as he continued. “It was because I wanted to know what it was like to be with you…to be your boyfriend if we need to label it and I liked it Shannon. I love Jared…I won’t deny that…but we haven’t been really happy in a long time. The fact is that we want different things in our relationship and they are things that I know won’t ever change. Earlier tonight I was talking to Tomo on the phone and I asked him what he thought I should do. He told me that I should be with the man who makes me smile…the one that I can’t stop thinking about…or wanting to be with and that man is you Shannon. I don’t know what I can do to prove that to you but…”

“Shut the fuck up already…you had me as I don’t care what Jared thinks” Shannon laughed, startling Matt as he rushed across the room, pulling him into his arms as he attacked his lips in a bone crushing kiss.

“Whoa…” Matt grinned once the lip lock was ceased.

“Yeah…” Shannon grinned as well, pulling Matt forward until they were leaning forehead to forehead.

“So what do we do now?” Matt asked, gazing into Shannon’s beautiful eyes.

“Well…the kissing is nice” He teased before leaning in and stealing another quick kiss to prove his point.

“Yeah…but kissing leads to other things and I guess we aren’t ready for those other things just yet...right?” Matt asked, raising an eye brow as he waited for a reply.

“Not yet…” Shannon replied, the frustration of it so clear upon his face. “There is still so much that we have to deal with before we can…be together?” He finished hesitantly, making it more of a question then a statement.

“Yeah…together” Matt assured with a smile closing his eyes as he leaned into Shannon’s touch a bit further. “We’ve got a couple of more days here…lets enjoy them and then we can go back to the real world and face Jared”

“This could break up the band” Shannon said seriously, stepping back as he took at good look at the blonde’s face.

“It won’t…Jared would never allow it. He loves us and this band to much to let this break us up” Matt assured once again because he knew that Shannon needed it. “It will be hard for him to understand at the beginning…but he’s always known from the beginning of our relationship how I felt about you and…”

“WHAT?” Shannon roared, pushing away from Matt in order to gain some space. “What do you mean he’s always known about that?” He asked, fuming so hot that all he could think about was finding his brother and beating him senseless. “That mother fucker knew this entire time and here I thought the only way that he had found out was one night when I was drunk and let it slip. I am going to kill that…” His words were cut off as Matt raced across the room, pulling him flush against his body before kissing the shit out of him.

“No more talk about Jared. I mean it…” He warned when Shannon tried to speak up. “It’s over…we will speak to Jared when we go back and then we can decide what we want to do with our lives” He smiled down at Shannon as the man looked up at him with wide eyes. “Ok?”

“Yeah…ok” The shorter man responded once again allowing Matt to dominate him as he took yet another kiss and yet in his mind all he could think about was plotting his brother’s ultimate demise.

“Man…I’m beat” Matt exclaimed tiredly a few days later as he and Shannon entered the hotel lobby arm and arm. “I just want to curl up in bed and…”

“And what?” Shannon teased as he cupped Matt’s ass, wrapping his free arm around his waist as he pulled him towards him. “What is it that you want to do in that huge bed of ours?” He went on, rubbing his already hardening erection against the mans thigh.

“Shannon…don’t tease me” Matt growled in frustration recalling the many dozens of attempts to seduce Shannon since their night of discovery. “It’s bad enough that I have to sleep in that large bed with you practically naked next to me…don’t make it worse by rubbing that thing against me if you’re not going to use it”

“Well maybe tonight if you try real hard…things will be different” Shannon purred against the taller mans ear, tugging it playfully until he got the desired moan he was hoping for. The truth was that he was tired of fighting off the man he wanted to make love to more then anything in the world. He knew that technically they should wait before taking that next step, but the idea of Matt’s naked body writhing under his own was more then he could take. “I want you so fucking badly baby…” He continued to tease Matt’s ear, crying out in shock when Matt wretched himself from Shannon’s grasp and nearly pulled his arm out of the socket as they raced towards the elevator. “Jesus man…impatient much” Shannon pouted playfully as he rubbed his sore arm.

“Sorry…” Matt replied as he pressed him grinning against the wall as they waited for the elevator to show. “Will this make it all better?” He asked with his own smile as he leaned down and kissed the very breath from his soon to be lover.

“What the mother fucking hell is this?” They both heard a familiar voice cry out behind them, before their bodies were being ripped apart by the unseen force.

“Jared…Jesus Christ you promised” Another voice cried out as he called out after the raging man, aiming his anger at his brother in the form of flying fists.

Shannon was so stunned at first that he could do nothing but allow the blows that were being distributed to his body, but then his mind quickly cleared and he began to defend himself, shooting blow after blow upon the body of the brother who he loved and hated all rolled into one.

“Jared…Shannon…that’s enough” Matt screamed loud enough to wake the dead as he grabbed onto Jared and pulled him away from the age old scuffle. “Don’t let him go…” He directed to Tomo who held a fuming Shannon at bay.

“Get the fuck off of me” Shannon roared, struggling like a fiend to break free of his friend in order to finish what Jared had started once and for all. “I’m going to fucking kill you” His words got louder, ignoring the confused looks that he received from Gerald and some of the staff as they rushed into the lobby to find out what the ruckus was. “You fucking knew this entire time and you still kept him away from me. I’m going to fucking kill you Jared” His struggles increased, as did the lock that Tomo had upon him. “I fucking hate you…” He said with less fire as his energy began to deplete. “Fucking hate you” Slumping back against the man behind him, as he allowed himself to be led away as Matt held Jared in a similar struggle.

“Let them talk Shan…” Tomo whispered against his ear. “They have lots to discuss. Come on…let’s find the bar in this place and have a drink” Shannon didn’t even try to fight him as he took one final look over his shoulder and found Matt and Jared locked in a very heated embrace. He needed a drink more then ever right then as he shrugged off his friend and headed towards his salvation, the bottom of a bottle. “So…you want to tell me what’s going on between you and Matt” Tomo asked, once they were seated at the bar.

“I would like to know that same thing myself” Gerald spoke up behind them, taking the stool next to the quiet man as he waited for an explanation.

“Give me a drink and I will tell you” Shannon demanded, shoulders slumped as he stared straight at the bartender behind the bar. “Please…” He begged the owner of the hotel as he turned and looked at him for the first time since he had sat down.

“Soda for him” Gerald told the barkeep in a stern voice, leaving no room for argument. “ I refuse to have to deal with what you put Matt and the rest of us through the other night” He scolded the clearly hurting man beside him, falling into father mode because he had grown a soft spot for the troublesome two. “Now spill…” Gerald could only sit in stunned amazement as moments later Shannon spilled the entire contents of his heart and soul on the bar for all to see and witness. His emotions bordered on anger at the lies and then symphty because he could tell just how much the poor kid was hurting and scared.

“I’m really sorry about lying to you” Shannon spoke sadly, toying with the glass of soda he had yet to take a drink from. “It was just a dream come true for me and we…I…just went with it” He corrected himself, not wanting to implement Matt despite the fact that it was his lie to begin with. “Just tell us how much everything was and we will pay for it” He continued miserably as he placed his head upon the bar, wondering what it was that Jared and Matt were doing at that very moment.

“You sound as if you are giving up on the man that you love already” Gerald spoke up, placing his hand upon Shannon’s shoulder in support. “I’ve seen the way that you two look at each other…the way you touch each other. It is quite clear to me that Matt loves you just as much as you love him”

“Yeah man…Matt’s always loved you Shan…don’t give up on him so easily” Tomo finally spoke up, smiling across Shannon’s back at the man he had yet to be introduced to. “I’m Tomo…by the way” He reached across Shannon to shake his hand. “Shannon and Matt’s friend and band mate”

“Gerald…” He nodded and shook the hand extended out to him. “So…this is some messed up love triangle then between brothers I take it?” He asked Tomo…smiling softly at the groan he heard from the man between them.

“Always has been” Tomo replied. “I’ve been waiting for this to happen for years. It was just a matter of time. Shannon’s been in love with Matt for as long as I’ve known him…even longer and now that he’s got his chance to be with the man that he loves…he just lets him go” He knew that he was pushing his luck, knew that at any minute Shannon’s anger was going to get the best of him, but he also knew that he had to do anything to make Shannon see that giving up on Matt was not the answer. “So what if Jared is up in their hotel room right now trying to convince Matt to take him back. So what if…”

“Shut the fuck up Tomo” Shannon cried out in misery as he turned to face his soon to be former friend. “It’s not my decision to make. Matt loves the both of us….I know that and he’s the one that has to decide who he wants to be with. Now….if you’ll fucking excuse me I need to be alone” Pushing himself off of the stool, Shannon prepared to make his way outside to walk and clear his head, stopping short as he spotted his brother standing behind him.

“Can we talk?” Jared asked cautiously.

Shannon fought the urge to punch him in the face and walk away, instead nodding his head in reply before once again walking towards the door. They walked in silence along the deserted beach for some time before Shannon couldn’t take it any more. “Come to break it to me gently?” He asked sarcastically as he turned his gaze out into the waters.

“I came to say I’m sorry” Jared corrected his older brother, kicking at the sand at his feet.

“Sorry for what?” Shannon asked confused as he turned to face his brother fully.

“Everything with Matt” He hesitated for a moment before taking and deep breath and starting again. “I’ve been a real asshole to you haven’t I?” He asked, already knowing the answer as Shannon once again focused his attention back towards the water. “I hurt you time and time again by throwing Matt in your face but you have to believe me that I didn’t do it to be mean and spiteful…well maybe a little…” He smiled sadly at the incredulous look he received from his brother. “The truth is that I knew Matt loved me and yet I knew that he loved you too. I was so afraid and unsure of myself and that I would lose him that I was mean and spiteful to you. I hurt you and it’s the one thing in my life that I never wanted to do Shannon. Do you think you can ever forgive me?”

“It’s over…it doesn’t matter” Shannon replied, not bothering to look over at the man next to him for fear of losing it completely.

“It does matter Shan…” Jared cried out as he forced him to turn and face him. “I love Matt…I can’t deny that…but you’re my brother and I love you more. Nothing in this world is more important then you being here with me…knowing that no matter what my fuck ups that you will always love me”

“I love you baby brother. I always have and I always will…no matter what” Shannon assured as he pulled his younger brother into his arms. “What are we going to do about this huge mess we’ve created?” He asked once they had pulled back, each staring out into the beauty of the ocean.

“What mess…there’s no mess” Jared announced, pulling away. “Tomo and I are heading back to California later this afternoon and you and Matt have a few more days here if memory serves me right. The private jet that I chartered is costing me an arm and a leg as it sits on the tarmac. I should have never come here…Tomo tried to stop me but I wouldn’t listen as usual” He began to walk away, putting much needed space between them.

“Huh…what?” Shannon stuttered as he watched his brother walking away from him.

“Close your mouth Shan…” Jared said as he turned back to face his brother. “He chose you…lucky fucking bastard that you are” The need to place distance between them growing as he turned back towards the hotel.

“What about us? Where does that leave us?? The band?” Shannon called out, catching up with the speeding man as he forced him to turn around and face him once again. “Jared…I will leave…”

“Don’t finish that sentence” Jared cut him off before he had a chance to say what he already knew he was going to. “Matt loves you…you love Matt and it’s time to see if you can give him what I never could. As for us and the band…it’s all good bro” He smiled despite the pain in his heart. “Truth is that as much as Matt and I care for each other…you were the only one that could ever make him happy…the only one that he truly ever loved. I just need some time to get past it…ok” He asked, staring into hazel eyes brimming with tears. “I’ve been considering taking on a film roll that will take me out of the country for about four or five months. I think that it will be good for us all. It gives you and Matt some alone time together and it allows me to clear my head”

Jared…I hate this…hate what is happening between us” Shannon replied as he pulled his brother into his arms.

“I’ll be fine…just give me some time ok” Jared smiled as he once again pulled away from his sibling. “Ok…so I’ll see you in about four or five months. Later bro…” He called out over his shoulder before disappearing into the hotel.

“Later…” He spoke to the disappearing figure as he sank to the sand at his feet and once again focusing his attention to the waters before him. His mind was a jumbled mess as he tried to come to terms with everything that had happened.

“Mind if I join you?” He heard a voice speak beside him as he looked up and locked concerned eyes with the man of his heart. “When you didn’t come up to the room after Jared left I got concerned”

“I just needed to clear my head. Jared’s hurt pretty badly…no matter how much he tries to deny it” Shannon spoke sadly, leaning into Matt’s touch as a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“Yes…he is…but he knows that this is the way that things have to be…the way that I want things to be. Don’t you?” Matt asked worried for a moment when Shannon didn’t reply.

“It’s all I ever wanted baby” He finally spoke, leaning up to capture beautiful pouting lips under his own. “I love you so much Matt…so very much” He declared his heart once their kiss had to be broken for much needed air. “Never doubt that for one moment”

“I love you too…you dumb ass” Matt choked on the sentiment as he closed his eyes and allowed the beautiful warmness of Shannon’s love to surround him. “Now get your ass into the hotel room…remove your clothes and fuck me like an animal” He growled against Shannon’s ear as he grabbed at his crotch, rubbing and tugging him into full erection.

Shannon didn’t have to be asked twice as he jerk himself and Matt to their feet, running and laughing the entire way to their room.

“Matt wait…” Shannon stilled his soon to be lover’s hands as his clothing was practically ripped from his body by the impatient man once they reached their destination.

“Shannon…I swear to fuck if you tell me that we have to wait any longer then I am going to fucking kill you right here and now” Matt growled, teasing and yet not teasing at all. “Please Shanny…I need you so desperately” He changed his tactics as he leaned in rasping sexily against Shannon’s ear, smiling at the shiver that ran though the shorter mans body.

“Jesus I want you too” Shannon moaned, wrapping his strong arms around Matt as he pulled him closer. “I just want you to know how much I love you and that I don’t want to have a relationship like you and Jared had” He felt Matt stiffen in his arms, wanting to slap himself for saying what he had, but knowing that it needed to be said just the same. “I just want us to always be honest with each other…no secrets. What I’m saying Matt is that when we are ready…I want to go public with us. I don’t care what other people think or say and…”

“I fucking love you Shannon Leto…” Matt cut him off as he literally clasped both hands onto the sides of Shannon’s head and kissed the very breath from his body. “Now…I’m going to fuck you until you can’t see straight” He panted against partially open lips.

“You want to top me?” Shannon grinned up at him, running his hand down the front of Matt’s pants, cupping the obvious bulge straining there.

“You have no idea how much I want to fucking top you baby” Matt exclaimed as he quickly rid Shannon of the rest of his clothing, then doing the same to himself. “Lay down…” He demanded, pushing Shannon back as his knees came in contact with the side of the bed forcing him to fall backwards upon it.

“Pushy much…” The drummer teased, pushing himself backwards as he propped himself up on a pillow.

“Oh you have no idea” Was his reply as he crawled upon the bed, kneeling before his lover in complete and utter awe of the body he saw before him. “Fucking incredible” He whispered to himself as he slide forward, covering that beautiful body with his own.

“You’re not so bad yourself” Shannon teased as he lifted Matt’s face upwards to let him know that he had heard his revelation and just how much it had affected him. “Now shut the hell up and fuck me already”

Matt didn’t need to be told twice and he used mouth and hands to explore every curve and expanse of Shannon’s beautiful body. He took it upon himself to find every sensitive spot, making sure to torture and tease the man whom was mere putty within his hands. Their night of love making was as grand and glorious as the other expected, as each took in their first taste and feel of the bounty before them. Cries of lustful passion and love echoed around them as Matt took Shannon, not once but twice that evening, bonding them as life partners for all eternity. Promises of love and ultimate devotion were declared as afterwards in the lazy haze of blissful oblivion plans where made of their future, each content and happy that they had finally found their true heart.

Six months later…

He could hear the giggling coming from another room the moment that he entered his recording studio/apartment and it brought a happy and yet sad smile to his lips. “Hey…” He heard Tomo speak behind him as he turned to find him grinning behind him. “How’ve you been?”

“Good…real good” Jared smiled at his friend, dropping the duffle bag he was still holding in his hand to the floor as he pulled his friend into a quick hug. “How are things?” He asked, looking in the same direction as another giggle wafting from around the corner.

“There doing good Jared” Tomo supplied the answer, watching Jared’s face for any sign of hurt or upset.

“Well good” Jared laughed as he pulled Tomo into his arms once again to hide his pain. “I missed you guys”

“Really…didn’t seem that way when your movie wrapped and you just disappeared for another month” He teased, pushing Jared away with a laugh as his hands began to tickle at his sides. “Asshole…”

“I just needed some more time alone and it was the best fucking thing I ever did in my life” Jared explained, leaning against the wall behind him with a smile.

“Really?” Tomo asked, taking in the brilliant mega watt smile beaming back at him.

“Yep. I ran into an old friend on the set and we decided to take a trip to Mexico. It was amazing” He replied.

“Old friend…who?’ Tomo asked, getting his answer as a tall, dark and very good looking man entered the house.

“Hey baby…cars parked” The man exclaimed, rushing past Tomo before engulfing Jared giggling mouth into a mind blowing kiss.

“Jake…you remember Tomo don’t you?” Jared asked, laughing as he forced his new boy friend to turn around and meet his band mate. “You both meet a couple of years ago at that party”

“Yeah…Tomo…good to meet you again” Jake extended his hand, making sure to keep his other arm around Jared’s shoulders.

“Same here” Tomo smiled, walking past the two of them as they once again fell into each others embrace, forgetting that the man was even there.

“What the hell is all the noise out here” Shannon asked as he and Matt entered the living area, his smile widening as he took in the site of his brother being thoroughly kissed by his former co-star and apparent new lover.

“Hey Bro…Matt” Jared beamed at the two of them, his eyes beacons of love as he looked over at them, once Jake had released his mouth in order to speak. “You remember Jake don’t you?” No words were spoken between the two brothers for a moment, as words of apology; understanding and love were spoken through their eyes alone.

“Yeah…” Shannon beamed at his brother as he rushed over to greet the two of them, knowing that once and for all everything was going to be alright.

The End…


End file.
